In college, as I started my weight loss journey, running became one of the best tools ever. It took me from thinking just about a number on the scale to getting a truly fit body.
Unfortunately at 19 in my mind: fit = six pack abs.
Thus, I could run 8 marathons, lose 35lbs, lift weights and jump over the moon, but without those abs, how could I give anyone advice on fitness?! For too many years, I felt like I was just waiting for someone to point out my lack of “fitness” or point to me as a fraud for writing all these articles about running without being an elite pro runner.
Have you ever had the thought when something great happens…”really me? Maybe they made a mistake? Someone is looking up to me for that…oh I hope they don’t ever find out…?” Mind you this doesn’t mean low self esteem, rather it’s a tendency to feel inadequate despite success.
It’s a cycle into which high achievers and perfectionists often fall {particularly women and definitely runners who tend to by TYPE A}. In fact, a 2014 study said 70% of people have had this feeling!
When you put those little subconscious thoughts on paper, it’s easy to see just how insane they are! Which is why it’s so important to shine a light in those dark scary areas of our brain.
It’s called Imposter Syndrome!
The actor Mike Myers is quoted as saying, “I still believe that at any time the No-Talent Police will come and arrest me.”
Pulitzer Prize-nominee Maya Angelou, television’s most successful female writer/actor/producer Tina Fey, and Meryl Streep have all admitted feeling that their lack of talent would soon be discovered.
This feeling followed me in my consulting career, so it’s no surprise that I brought it along to my new life as a blogger, writer, coach, runner.
Surely someone will come along and point out all the ways I’m not really qualified to be those things…the biggest problem with that is you will ALWAYS find ways to prove yourself right.
What if instead of waiting for them to figure out I’m imperfect, I beat them to the punch? What if I owned my flaws?
Buzzfeed chart
Proclaiming My Flaws
Lumps, bumps, warts and all owning it eliminates all the fear of someone finding out.
I’ve also realized that the people I admire and relate to the most aren’t perfect. I trust their advice due to their experience, not because they have no flaws.
It’s time to own our shortcomings, along side our good qualities because let’s be honest we short change those too.
I am a real writer because I write, even if it’s 99% online and not in a book.
I am a real runner because I run, even if I’m not the fastest.
I own that I have maintained a 35lb weight loss for over 10 years, even if I never made it to the pack of abs goal.
I really like vegetables, I would still prefer a diet consisting solely of cake and cookies.
I own that I have made choices that allow me to pursue my passions, to travel and enjoy life.
I sometimes feel lonely with all my working from home, but I love being alone too.
I am frequently overly optimistic and have my hopes dashed when things don’t come through.
I have a substantial savings account because I’m cheap, sometimes too cheap for my own good.
WHEEEEWWW now that you know all of that there’s really nothing I need to worry about!
OWN WHO YOU ARE it’s terribly freeing!
[bctt tweet=”Own your flaws, that’s what makes you real – Overcoming imposter syndrome” username=”runtothefinish”]Inner Work Tips
Not ready to proclaim all your issues to the world, that’s ok there are some other inner work activities that can help you get past imposter syndrome:
- Get specific about your definition of a “real…{runner, writer, coach}”
- Learn to OWN your success, don’t talk it down
- Decide if there is something you need to take action on {get certified, read the latest research, take a class}
- Do the work or don’t, but own it either way
- Be objective: our flaws are magnified by our own perception. If you can’t be objective, talk to someone who can and find out if your fears are real or overly critical
- Knock down the pedestals you’ve put others on to remember they aren’t perfect
- Remember it’s your experiences that allow people to relate to you
- Remember that sometimes it’s the situation, not you
- Continue working on your mental chatter {checkout these affirmation tips}
Is there an area where you often judge yourself unfairly?
What could you “own” today that would release the fear of people finding out?
Other ways to connect with Amanda
Pinterest: RunToTheFinish
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Facebook: RunToTheFinish
Hearty, Healthy and Easy Ground Turkey Veggie Soup
Imposter syndrome seems connected to the mantra I grew up with, “What will other people think?” So much fear and panic was inside that question. I was unconscious that it was running me and the choices I made until adulthood. It was deeply hidden. “People pleasing,” seems also related. Thanks!
Okay. I need to own that I didn’t pass my first go at NASM CPT. No excuses, I just didn’t study enough. I had to purchase another test. Now I have 6 more months (okay 5, by this point) to study some more and actually be ready to pass that test. I WANT TO PASS THAT TEST!!
LOVE!! You will totally get it and probably be even better for it!!!
I am definitely my own harshest critic! This is where my husband has been the best ever (well just one of the ways he’s the best)! ;) I very specifically remember feeling pretty down on myself after I had my 3rd baby because I had to gain some weight to get pregnant to begin with. As I was standing in the mirror just about to start crying he walked in and said, “You look perfect, don’t even think about losing a pound.” I was so glad that he thought my motherhood was beautiful, even when I didn’t at the moment. Knowing he has eyes only for me no matter what I look like has been such a blessing to my insecure self!
This is something we talk about in my profession–I always warn my students that “we’re not doctors but we play them (on TV)” lol. It feels weird to go from nurse to nurse practitioner and imposter syndrome is very real!
Being a health lifestyle and food blogger…I always feel. I’m far from perfect and that often makes me feel like a fraud, it’s so silly!! I’ve gotten a lot better though, and I believe we all have something valuable and unique that can help someone else, so I just keep on sharing and hope that it’s helping someone out there. Thanks for your thoughts on this!
Such a great post Amanda! Love you shedding some light on this topic!
I definitely deal with imposter syndrome. It’s weird. I’m self aware enough to know my own strengths, and yet I still feel those strengths are exaggerated by others.
I love to write – always have. But because I never got a job in the field, I feel like my writing is not “serious.” I feel like, even though I love to blog about wellness, that I’m an imposter because I’m not a professional ____ or certified ____. It’s something I’m working on!
How did you know? I’ve been wrestling with this lately especially when it comes to writing an ED recovery/food/lifestyle blog. I’m just wondering if I should be writing at all, because I still have struggles related to food freedom and such, but I’m finding that the freedom comes from revealing that I do struggle, that I’m not perfect, and yet God in His grace and mercy is working on me, and I want to share that grace with others. <3 Thank you for the reminder Amanda <3
I love this post! I think it’s safe to say we all feel that way sometimes. I definitely struggle with feeling inadequate and lacking! This is such a great reminder to be yourself, do your best, and give yourself grace.
I waffle so much in my professional life. My husband has to constantly reassure me that I do actually know what I’m doing. I’m glad I’m not the only one that does this!
Great post! I love the concept of owning yourself! Something I am exploring right now.
Wow, Amanda, this article speaks to me so much! I struggle with this a lot. No matter what successes come my way, a little voice always seems to pop up saying, “Yeah, but…” Thanks for the helpful tips in dealing with this – time to start OWNING it!
OMG 100% yes to this…and I have the abs!! LOL!!! I know this is something that is widely suffered in the super successful community (I think I first read about it when Sheryl Sandberg confessed to this in Lean In) but I still believe it!!!…sometimes…
You are right in that it always helps to share the horrible with the amazing. So many people will then comment “wow! you have bad training days?” and I’m like all.the.time.
Great article and glad I caught it…
Thanks Allie!!! I know I have trouble keeping up with everyone’s content now (so sad), so I feel like I’m missing good stuff all the time! Appreciate the words from a writer I respect!