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Home / Women's Running

8 Ways to Slow Down: Relaxation Guilt

Last Updated on December 16, 2024 by Amanda Brooks
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It’s more than struggling to not head out for some miles on a scheduled rest day. Too many of us are staying amped up all the time, which means even our rest days aren’t providing the recovery that we need. And this actually has a name, relaxation guilt.
Playa Bejuco

Have you ever found that when you have a moment where there’s nothing on your must do list, you excitedly sit downโ€ฆbut after just a few moments are up and working on something?

Maybe itโ€™s because we have overachiever friends who swear by the motto โ€œIโ€™ll sleep when Iโ€™m dead.โ€ Or maybe itโ€™s because it helps to stop the chatter in our minds. We also give ourselves a little pat on the back for being such a great doer.

Thatโ€™s right I said it!

I think there is a secret competition underlying Americaโ€™s new stressed out lives, everyone wants to prove they can do a little more than their neighbor as though it makes them a better person.

Why Slowing Down Is Important for Runners

We’re not talking about pace, unless you mean the pace of life. And no, it’s not as simple as just doing less. But it might be about learning to say no, choosing to not fill every second, allowing yourself time to sit and do nothing particular.

Remember when we called baseball Americaโ€™s Favorite pastime? Thatโ€™s because when people left work there was no cell phone or a computer keeping them connected to everyone, but those inside their home.

Multiple times this year I have proclaimed “I will be working less!!!” Within a week or two, I was beyond exhausted, sick to my stomach and apparently overdoing it.

Stopping was suddenly, much harder than just plowing on with the way things had been going.

Of course that creates a host of issues:

  • Elevated cortisol levels – that’s right not from running, from life
  • Decreases overall recovery due to muscle tension and inflammation
  • Feeling fatigued so you skip workouts or push through when you should rest
  • Often leads to loss of appetite so we aren’t choosing the big healthy filling meals
  • Creates feelings of frustration, anxiety and overwhelm

Great, now you know you’re stressed and maybe a tad addicted to always being busy. You can also blame your phone for this as it means you are tied to everyone you know 24/7.
8 Tips to Slow Down and Disconnect without the Guilt

8 Tips to Beat Relaxation Guilt

As a doer who is in the process of taking more time to enjoy areas of life that aren’t marked as “productive”, I know it’s always easier to give advice than take it. But I’m hopeful that you’ll join me in working on this for both our mental health and because darn it, we want our runs to feel great!!

#1 Define your tasks:
Sometimes we have these vague to-doโ€™s like I should exercise, study, clean etc. Instead define what that means so you can set aside the appropriate amount of time.

#2 When you are finished, stop!
Sounds silly but how often have you started one task and let it lead to 3 more because โ€œoh Iโ€™m alreadyโ€ฆโ€ Don’t increase the task list, just do the specific task and you can write the others down for another time.

#3 Remember the mental and physical benefits you get from relaxing.
See you are doing something by doing nothing! And sometimes we really need to be reminded of the benefits or in reverse all the issues we want to avoid.

#4Monotask:
I really donโ€™t remember when it happened, but we all bought in to the idea that doing more things at once was better. Driving while talking used to be reserved for having a passenger in the car.

#5 Actually slow down
Iโ€™ve been preaching the benefits of slowing down to eat to folks who ask about running for weight loss, but the truth is there is a lot to be gained from slowing down in everything we do. Imagine re-reading that email before you click send and catching the typo or looking in the mirror one last time to catch the lipstick on your teeth.

#6 Shut down
I made a personal rule about putting my phone away at least an hour before bed and no technology comes to bed. Beyond that imagine having a conversation where you donโ€™t look at your phone and therefore remain totally focused on the person you are with.

#7 Put it in perspective
We are all special and important, but letโ€™s get real if you donโ€™t get something done it is usually not life or death and the world will continue on.

#8 Get grateful
Sometimes we feel the need to DO because we are focused on what we do not yet have. A little time spent focusing on everything we do have can serve as a reminder that we donโ€™t need it today and sometimes that we may not need it at all.

Maybe this post was mostly for me and not helpful to you, who knows. I’d really love to hear what you think about relaxation guilt!

Do you allow yourself to fully relax for more than a few minutes at a time?

Do you set aside time to completely disconnect?

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Amanda Brooks
I am a running coach with over a decade of experience helping thousands of runners to achieve their goals from running injury free to crossing that marathon finish line with a PR. I’ve run over 28,000 miles in my own running journey since 2002. Run To The Finish is my place to share that love and my deep dive in to researching all things running. I hold multiple run coaching certifications, as well as a personal training certification. But it’s my ongoing desire to learn and progress as a coach that has allowed me to help runners from their 20’s through their 70’s! More ways to connect with me:
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Hello runners! I’m Amanda Brooks, a certified running coach and personal trainer since 2012. But my running love started long before that in 2002. My philosophy is that running isn’t about your pace or the distance or your body. It’s about showing up for yourself, loving the process and doing it injury free!

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Amanda Brooks is a Certified Running Coach, Certified Personal Trainer and long time distance runner with a passion for every facet of running, which leads her to do more reading, research and running than necessary. Find all the tips, tricks and tools you need from this running coach for your best injury free running. Read More…

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