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Home / Funny Running

The Glamorous Runners Life

Last Updated on August 28, 2021 by Amanda Brooks
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2 Comments

It’s easy to get swept up in the excitement of finish line emotions, those triumphant photos with our medals or even the fierce grit of having pushed ourselves to the limit.

But that my friends is just the most visible part of our glamorous runners life. For those considering joining our ranks, here’s some of what you can look forward to.runners life

My personal favorite from Danielle Pascente (pictured above) is realizing that when you sweat your tights now look like you peed your pants.

Which is perfect since people already ask if we pee or poop ourselves instead of stopping for bathroom breaks.

Pitch Black Mornings

Clambering about in the dark to find your gear without waking up the household is not so much the picture we often see painted of a leisurely cup of joe while the house awakes. I’m pretty sure this has resulted in mismatched socks and bruised shins for a lot of us.

But alas, race morning starts before the crack of dawn and for the super fun one’s you get to rise and shine by like 3:30. What a joy.

Plus, it’s a law that when you’re trying to be quiet, inevitably you end up making more noise.

Eating on the Fly

Using the light of the TV while checking the weather to make your breakfast is a particularly fun part of race morning because your husband/friend/kids are still trying to pretend they’re a sleep in the same room.

Shoot even during the week, it’s often a grabbed piece of food that I’m still chewing as I walk out the door to get started.

Who Needs Tanning Beds?

Tan lines that make swimsuit season even more fun. We really cover all the bases from head to toe:

  • Sunglasses lines
  • Watch lines
  • Short lines
  • Sports bra lines
  • Sock lines
  • Bonus swimsuit lines for triathletes

Hilraious things runners can relate to

Sudden Gear Issues

Sometimes it’s a pair of shorts you’ve worn 1000 times that begin to randomly chafe.

Sometimes it’s wet socks that lead to a knowing you’ll pull them off to find your feet a wreck.

Sometimes it’s the race morning realization that a tag is annoying, so you try to McGyver ripping it out without ripping apart your entire workout gear. Because nothing is worse during a race than deciding that your gear is an issue.

Lube Life

Real glamour is busting out a stick of glide and rubbing your thighs, your toes, you underarms, your sports bra line and basically any other skin surface you can think of on race day because you just never know what might decide this is the day it rubs raw.

Because if we don’t do all the glide, then we end up needing to do really sexy stuff like putting Duct tape on our feet because we had a super wet race and started to develop blisters.

It turns out Duct tape is waterproof and stays put, unlike our many attempts with a band-aid.runner blister fixSource

Only Mildly Smelly

Sniffing clothing to see if you can get in one more run before adding it to the growing pile of wash. It’s true, we re-wear because there are only so many hours in the week and we’d like to save what we can for the actual run and not the time washing.

Helpful hint: Hang clothes up after wearing and then I like this Hex Performance Spray to keep their anti-oder properties working.

Start Line Fashion

There’s nothing like rummaging through your closet for things you were planning to donate and then pulling on multiple layers of those things to head to the start line.

I mean if that doesn’t put you in the mind frame of a rock star, then I don’t really know what you’re looking for from a race.

Can I be honest though? The worst is when I suddenly decide that old sweatshirt is really comfy and I don’t actually want to toss it at the start line. But then you have to remember it will go to someone who needs it more.throw away clothes

BUGS

Let’s be honest the best part of winter is usually the lack of insects which use your face is a windshield…and sometimes your mouth.

We can call it extra protein all we want, but the truth is we spend the next couple of miles doing a weird spitting thing and assuming everything is now trying to get in our mouth.

Also, really great for post race photos when no one wants to tell you that you have bugs stuck to you…it’s like spinach in your teeth.bugs on face

WE PEE A LOT

It’s always having a random assortment of beverages with you because hydration, recovery, nutrition…gotta do it.

This of course leads to a lot of mad dashes to the restroom when meetings run long and of course the moment we walk in the house because our bladder has been trained to hit that toilet.

It also means, people can’t figure out why your desk looks like a small grocery store. I mean we know the drinks are lined up alongside your bevy of healthy snacks for the day too…and second breakfast.race hydration

Hair Knots

After spending time getting it pulled back just right to avoid all the bumps on the front side, you head out to run.

Only to return home with baby fly aways galore, your braid bound in knots you can no longer undo and then the fun of riping out some hair as you pull out the pony tail holder. Running.McSwain

The Behind The Scenes Glamour

Of course there are so many more swoon worthy moments that we just don’t even need to see in a photo. I mean that’s all the behind the scenes stuff that would ruin the mystique.

  • Holding your breath pre-race to handle the porta potties
  • Blackened toenails
  • Blisters
  • Random chafing that burns in the shower
  • Snot rockets
  • Race photos that prove how horrible you felt
  • Runners trots
  • Stress fractures from overuse
  • Dry Fit clothing draped everywhere to dry after washing

Looking like a fool was a worry when I first started running, but now it’s just part of the whole social media game. And of course there are times where you gotta find the weirdest spots to prop your phone…and then retrieve it when it falls.

What’s your favorite oh so glamorous moment?

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Amanda Brooks
I am a running coach with over a decade of experience helping thousands of runners to achieve their goals from running injury free to crossing that marathon finish line with a PR. I’ve run over 28,000 miles in my own running journey since 2002. Run To The Finish is my place to share that love and my deep dive in to researching all things running. I hold multiple run coaching certifications, as well as a personal training certification. But it’s my ongoing desire to learn and progress as a coach that has allowed me to help runners from their 20’s through their 70’s! More ways to connect with me:
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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Alexis

    June 13, 2019 at 5:18 am

    I think mine would either have to be the unavoidable sweat lines between my legs or super knotted hair after EVERY. SINGLE. RUN. Great post!

    Reply
  2. Colleen

    June 15, 2019 at 8:50 pm

    Oooohhh yeahhhh. My most glamorous moment was when I had to pee in the woods. ๐Ÿ˜ฌ Thank God I didn’t have on compression shorts that day!๐Ÿ˜†

    Reply

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