19 Things Never Said by a Runner

There are a lot of things we can guarantee runners say, like “am I dead yet?” “are we there yet?” and “that wasn’t me“.

But I bet there are a least a few things no one has said…unless you’d like to prove me wrong. Sometimes we don’t need another day of tips, we just need to step back and laugh at ourselves. We have chosen to love this crazy sport through the highs and the lows, nothing keeps that love alive like a good laugh.

At least I think that’s been the key to my marriage, so I figure it probably applies to my running too!

Things Runners Don’t Say

Feel free to prove me wrong if you’ve said one of these, otherwise I’d love to hear what else you swear would never come from the mouth of a runner!

1. “This is so much more fun when it’s 98% humidity.”
2. “I love how I can’t stop sweating even after I shower in the summer.”
3. “If only there were fewer porta potties, so I could spend more time in line before the race.”
4. “I hope none of my friends ever falls in love with this sport too.”
5. “I’d absolutely rather be at work than on this trail.”
6. “It’s so fun hearing my co-workers talk about their 5k marathons, right after I mention running 26.2 miles.”
7. “Staying out late on Friday and then getting up at 4AM for my Saturday long run is the best. I just feel so alive, it’s like a pre-workout.”
8. “My favorite part of race day is when I hit the wall and then I spend the remaining miles just clawing my way back.”
9. “Wouldn’t it be nice if people didn’t have to pick up after their dogs. I mean built in obstacle training.”
10. “I wish it took longer for my corral to get to the start line.”
11. “Thank goodness my GPS died mid-run, so I didn’t have to look at how far I’d gone any more.”
12. “Wasn’t that finish line banana the best food you’ve ever tasted?”
13. “I’m gonna run today, but I’d really rather be in the gym.”
14. “It’s really frustrating to be spending all this time outside, not staring at my phone. I just can’t wait to get back online ASAP.”
15. “So the doctor said I should quit running and I completely agree.”
16. “Of course you can call me a jogger.”
17. “I would literally live on gels if I could”
18. “I should really make sure other people know how awful this is, so they don’t go try it for themselves.”
19. “Guess what today is?? They’re releasing a new model of my shoe!! I just love it when they change everything about my favorite gear.”

All right who is ready to prove me wrong! Have you said any of these??

Anything I left off this list of never say?

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