In those first years of running, I could have told you a lot about my shoes, not because I’d yet made my way in to a running store to find a real shoe. I kept my eyes down while running because I was too slow too be seen.
Or at least if I didn’t make eye contact, I could pretend no one noticed me.
One day, I looked up.
I was a runner darn it.
I held my pride and there it was…the nod.
That passing runner probably thought nothing of it, but I knew what it meant: I’d joined the club.
I was officially part of that select crew that acknowledged each other’s efforts on the road the subtle “I see you” of the runner’s nod.
Of course, he could have given me a flick of the hand or a hello, but there’s something about the nod that really feels like you’ve joined a secret club. A club that says we don’t need words to recognize effort, we don’t need to talk about this, we don’t need to share a language, we might never meet again, but we both know we’re out here crushing it (whether that’s a speed walk pace or sub 6 minute mile).
Why the Runners Nod Matters
Do We All Nod?
In the years since then, we’ve lived and I’ve run many places around the word, which has lead me to find that the nod isn’t always an expected or common thing. But I believe it should be!
Miami – Rarely a nod, but lots of big running groups…so still runner friendly.
Kansas City – No one to nod at but passing drivers, you’re likely to hug another runner if you pass them.
Iowa – Also no one to nod at but passing cows, but when you do pass someone you generally get a “good morning”
Denver – Get ready to feel like a bobble head, you’ll be seeing lots of people and only the Boulder bubble super elite will ignore you
Naples – Every single runner I passed said “hello” it was really invigorating
Of course there are variations on the nod, which we tend to interchange depending on the day, our speed and yes our mood.
- Nod + smile = I’m having a great freaking run
- Nod – smile = I see you, I’m working too hard to be loving this yet
- Flick of the finger = I’m going real fast, but hey
- Wave of the hand = Wassup, this is hard.
What’s it like where you live?
And there’s a strange relationship between runners and cyclists that seems to only include a nod when the cyclist happens to also be a runner. As one who loves a man on his bike, I’ve started spending more time on the bike and realized that what I often took as cyclists perhaps looking down on runners was often more likely, speed.
In my case, I’m terrified to remove hand for any kind of wave and by the time it registers to nod, I’ve often passed the runner. Ha!
Do you give the runner's nod? Or prefer to stay in your own lane? #runchat Share on XShould We All Nod?
I know some of you are thinking, but running is MY time. It’s why we run solo, to escape our to do lists and the mental chatter.
Well I’m sorry, but I say yes.
We may run alone, but the community we connect to through running is a large part of what keeps us coming back. And one day your nod could help someone else run a little taller and lace up again the next day because they feel like a runner.
Men’s Journal posted an interesting article that some men now feel strange doing the nod because of all the talk about women being harassed while we run. Yet, I think the nod is collegial and friendly. It’s the stare down, the hooting, the cat calls and the whistles that are unwelcome.
In fact, years after I received that little nod I found my chance to return the favor.
By then it was common practice for me to acknowledge other runners, sometimes it was a nod, sometimes a funny face as we passed in the wicked weather and sometimes a full on smile because damn I was having fun.
But this time was different…
I nodded and watched as the smile lit up her face. I could see the wheels turning and knew that’s what the gentleman who nodded to me had seen so many years ago, the switch. The moment you feel validated and part of something bigger.
So here’s my virtual nod to you all.
Do you give the nod?
Or do you keep to yourself on the run?
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Kelly @ Kelly Runs For Food
I love this! I live in a pretty friendly town, so we nod, smile, give a little wave….sometimes we even say good morning. It sucks when I throw out the friendly and don’t get anything back, but it’s better than not doing it!
Renee Martin
I wish people in my town would nod. It is very rare. I will nod and often put my hand up as a hello but it is often ignored. I am amazed at the lack of acknowledgement these days. Its as if people are too busy to take the time to relate to others.
Patricia @Sweet and Strong
This is too funny, I’m more of a waver than a nodder when I run. But I usually only pass walkers and neighbors, not other runners in my neighborhood.
amanda
That’s a good point, I do tend to give more of a wave or smile to someone walking, no idea why.
Courtney Robert
I live outside of Toronto and The Nod is real. I always nod and I love getting the nod. I prefer to run solo but it’s a nice way to feel a little less alone.
Kathy McElhaney
Yep, always give the nod. Some people will look you right in the eye and not nod back, I don’t understand them. I even stop and talk to neighbors when I’m out, I love hearing, “You’re so consistent!”
amanda
Miami was very strange with the stare but non-acknowledgement.
Kaci Cheeseman
This was a very cute article! I’ve often thought about the variations of greetings between runners, cyclists, walkers, etc.
I’m not a routine “runner,” but I go through phases when I will add a 1-3 mile jog into my training to mix things up (I usually lift weights). I live in an area with a lot of traffic, but we are mostly surrounded by farms, so I occasionally pass someone on their bike (usually it will be a serious looking cyclist, not a leisure rider). Other than that, there is the occasional walking retiree / retiree couple (if I’m out early in the day). The bike riders tend to nod. The retirees tend to say hello/good morning and smile. I usually respond accordingly..hello to those that greet verbally and do the 2-3 finger wave when passing bikers.
It is funny, I always feel like I’m getting a mark of approval/appreciation that is not due. Like I’m being accepted to be part of the club to which I’m haven’t hard core committed! Shhhh….don’t tell! LOL
KG
I love the Nod and think it’s a friendly gesture amount fellow runners. Never thought of different areas having different customs among runners. Thanks!
Frank
I love this Amanda! In Chicago, you get tons of nods and hellos along the lakefront. More in the downtown loop, you have to be careful who you nod to!!
Susie @ Suzlye
I nod if I am able to make eye contact–I love it when I can!
Mark Villalovos
OMG I LOVE this post! I am a (male) habitual nodder and I’ll add another city to your list:
Los Angeles – Male – 65% nod back; Female – 45% nod back. I’ll admit, to the female it’s mostly “nod + smile”, (unless I’m deep into double digit miles) – but that doesn’t mean I want to date you. It’s how you said it, a variation of: “I’ll probably never see you again, but we’re lapping everybody still in bed and we rock”
Now that I’ve moved to the suburbs of Chicago, I am pleased that the nod, smile, wave and other acknowledgement factor has increased considerably. Runners here are outside in some crazy cold, windy, and rainy conditions – we may be nodding just to keep warm.
Melissa
Lol yep here in Chicago if we waited for the perfect weather we’d never run. No such thing as bad weather just bad clothing choices. I’m in the chi suburbs and waving and nodding are very common.
Liz
I LOVE this article! :) I live in San Francisco and I have to say, the nod is rare.
However, the other day, during Fleet week, I crossed a runner who gave me a full on HIGH FIVE! I felt so invigorated, I ran an extra round around the block before I headed home. I’m definitely going to join the nod movement.
Allie
ALWAYS yes to the nod! I mostly run with cows and corn here but, when I go to a popular trail there are lots of walkers (who always say “good morning!”) and runners who nod – men included. Mostly when I go there it’s for speed work so I either give the thumbs-up or smile and they know I’m just trying to breathe but also be friendly :-)
Jennifer @ Fit Nana
I love the nod!! I also try to say hi – I know not everyone will respond verbally but I do appreciate a nod in return. I mostly get acknowledged in my town but sometimes, I just get stared at. Rude. BUT, when I went to California on vacation and went for a couple of runs down by the water, I RARELY got a nod. What the heck?!
Jess
I nod and smile usually. :) if I’m on an easy run I’ll even squeak out a good morning/afternoon. I love feeling apart of our community!
wendy
Sometimes I nod and sometimes I wave, but I always acknowledge the other runner. Unfortunately, that isn’t always the case for runners around here. I don’t understand that.
Regina
Always communicating with others. I’m usually out in the morning dark miles so I nod and/or slight wave with an utter of Mornin’ to other female runners and walkers. For males, it is different because it is so dark & I want them to know that I see them so it is usually a wave without words.
Emily
That nod truly does communicate so much; it gives a pep to my step when I pass another runner; often it’s actually a cyclist that passes me and gives me a thumbs up or a nod. I think the older cyclists often take the time to acknowledge/encourage; I really want to be more like them the older I get and the more I get to run over the years.
That runner’s nod truly can communicate more than a million words. I think that where I live near Castle Rock, most people will nod or smile or if you’re close enough, they might say, ‘Hello!’
Kim G
I usually nod for one person but if I run by a group I usually wave. I hate when the other runner(s) don’t acknowledge me because I just think it’s plain rude, but that won’t stop me from being friendly on my run!
Janean Bollinger
Love this! In Nashville where I live, there are classes of running groups. The “elites” don’t notice the rest of us, but everyone else will wave and invite you to breakfast afterwards. The lone runners generally nod. The only time I don’t nod is if I am running alone and pass a man who doesn’t appear to be a serious runner. Then he gets a hard stare for the sake of my safety. Women who appear to be new runners will often get a “looking good, girlfriend! Keep up the good work!”
Steph
I was born and raised in Charleston and was always taught to greet people…and that has extended to running. Especially in tourist areas, its just a nice gesture and makes people feel welcome. If you can’t acknowledge someone you are running too hard!
Marcia
I may nod, or wave or smile or all of the above. I always acknowledge other runners. I’ve notice this to be the case in the Midwest and the South. The coasts (near the big cities) are less friendly in my experience.
Janelle @ Run With No Regrets
I am always for a nod or a wave! I live in Philly and on certain trails, people nod, while on others, people just ignore you or look at you like you’re crazy….it’s so rude! We need to make the runner’s nod go viral!
Lacey@fairytalesandfitness
I try to give the nod, but some times I am just really focused and it takes to much effort…haha. Also I run on a very popular trail and it gets old doing it every so many yards, Especially on weekend mornings.
Justin Stanchfield
Since I run on trails I’m more likely to encounter people out on four-wheelers or quads, but yeah, they wave. Or stop and talk. It happens a lot, and it’s all good. But when I do p[ass another runner I always nod or wave, or give a quick “How’s it going?” (Of course, usually I have my dogs with me, so often it’s an apopolgy. “Sorry, they bark but they don’t bite!”)
Motorcyclists, when passing in opposite directions, always salute each other by dropping their left hand to their side, palm out. It means I’m there to give you a hand if you need it. I like to think of the runner’s nod as the same thing.
Wonderful article!