We’ve shifted to a culture that seems to idolize being busy.
You know what I”m talking about…many conversations are some variation of sharing our to do list: “Whew, I’m so busy, the kids have games all weekend, we’re repainting the kitchen, I’ve got so many projects and to top it off the dog got sick.”
We aren’t even complaining, we’re simply signifying our life importance because this busyness is a badge of honor.
Which means we believes it’s normal not to get enough sleep, to feel fatigued or simply feel less than our best.
But that’s not normal!!!
Sometimes the cause it super simple, go to bed. Facebook can wait.
Sometimes it’s a little more complex, cut out the dairy it’s a food intolerance. You’ll live without cheese.
Sometimes it’s a lot more complex and you need to be willing to get answers. Add see doctor to your priority list.
After posting a new update on my multi-year journey to get an answer on what was causing my health issues (bad running, hair loss, horrible stomach issues to name a few!), it shocked me to hear from so many of you in similar situations of being brushed off or ignored by doctors.
We trust those in positions of authority to have more knowledge than we do, so if they say it’s stress or in our heads, what else are we to do but believe them.
Whether it’s medicine or fitness we ignore our intuition because an expert told us we were wrong. Sometimes it could truly be a simple matter of stress or bad diet or lack of sleep, those are massive factors in health. But when you consistently feel that something is not right, do not be afraid to ask for more.
“Just because you’re not sick doesn’t mean you’re healthy” ~Author Unknown
As a society we’ve made it “normal” to feel tired, worn out, stressed out, hungry, thirsty, sleepy, whatever your symptoms may be…but it’s not. There was a time that you were bursting with energy, your skin glowed and your smile went all the way to your eyes because you had the energy to get it there. You deserve this every single day.
6 Tips to Stop Being Ignored by Your Doctor
Even the Mayo Clinic has stated that passive patients are less likely to get well!! As runners we often have a higher pain tolerance or a mentally of pushing through discomfort, which means by the time we seek help things can be pretty bad.
Don’t let doctors simply point to your running as the cause of it all, that is VERY often their go to explanation when other things don’t make sense.
With that in mind here are 6 tips to help you get answers.
1. Be Prepared Does NOT Mean Diagnose Yourself
Did watch Grey’s Anatomy {yeah I’ve been watching way too long}?? The patient KNEW instinctively that something was wrong and did a lot of research to find potential answers that she then took to a doctor, rather than trying to fix it on her own.
They may blow you off, which is why it’s so important to truly know yourself and when things are not right. Runners are very connected to how their bodies feel, which gives you a leg up because you know that something has been off for awhile and it’s more than an increase in training. Do some research, but don’t believe all the AWFUL results.
2. Ask Questions
Doctors are overbooked and overworked most of the time, which means they may give you a very quick answer or one that sounds like gibberish.
All my Dr said was “oh that’s not good, you need a brain MRI” and then he left the room. No, no, no…when he came back I started asking multiple variations of the same question to force him to explain and then he took the time to give me a lot of information.
Also if they initially brush you off with the “it sounds like stress” or “sounds like you should run less”, try this little script:
I’d like to have a complete blood work up done so that we can just check to see if anything is off. Who knows maybe I’m just deficient in vitamin D or Iron and that would make me feel better.
Most blood work will be covered by insurance and it’s no sweat to them to have it done, but they are often surprised when the results come in!
3. Don’t Be Afraid
Doctors also don’t want to tell you too much for fear of scaring you. Don’t be afraid to know the whole story because that gives you power to make choices.
“Health is like money, we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it.” ~Josh Billings
And if you intuitively know something is off, don’t be afraid to find out what it is. You are strong, I know because you’re a runner. Finding out simply means getting started on setting things right sooner, so you can get back to feeling strong.
4. Documentation
This is one place where it’s easy to get the run around or find yourself waiting weeks between appointments. A little upfront work can help prevent this:
- Ask for copies of every single test result
- Document clearly all symptoms you have and when they occur (i.e. only in the afternoon, as soon as I eat)
- Get your family history; not the watered down version, the whole story
In meeting with a variety of doctors some were too busy to hear my whole list of symptoms and some were ready to talk through each one…you can imagine which doctor got results and a return visit. Sometimes you have to be willing to kiss a few frogs.
5. Be Your Best Advocate
It’s easy to fight for your children or a spouse or parent, but who is fighting for you…sometimes it has to be YOU. Don’t let life keep you from going to the doctor and don’t let a doctor push you around, fight for what you deserve which is the best life possible.
Being your own advocate may also mean skipping the doctor in favor of a nap, a run, or a healthy meal. It’s about putting yourself first on the list and knowing what is right for you.
And that means letting go of the fear that a little time off means losing fitness.
6. Alternative Medicine
Don’t be afraid to step out of mainstream medicine.
Myself and the hundreds of people I’ve spoken to who found answers, did it by going to a functional medicine doctor or other holistic specialists after getting no results from a traditional doctor.
Trust me, my mom still thinks a lot of what I believe in is a bit of “woo woo science” and the idea that foods could be part of what made me feel bad isn’t fully accepted by many…but I can say with 100% certainty fixing my digestion helped my energy return, my skin look better and damn I felt better!
Are you nervous to press the doctor for information?
Have you ever felt like they weren’t listening to you?
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SuzLyfe
As the wife of a doctor as well as someone with a chronic illness, I want to second the be your own advocate but don't turn to Dr. Google. Always seek a second opinion if your aren't comfortable with the first. Also, realize that the doctors are often working within an insurance system beyond their control. If you feel that you aren't getting the right treatment from your doctor, ask to see someone else–just as with ANYTHING ELSE. You wouldn't write all men off because of one bad date, would you?
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RunToTheFinish
Yes Dr Google usually leads to one diagnosis as all the comics say, so it's absolutely a place to find information but not a place to diagnose!
wendy
There seems to be a growing disconnect between patients and respect for medical providers' education and experience. I feel like I've gone from being a diagnostician to a customer service rep. Yesterday I had a teenager walk in with a list of tests her mom wanted because she has hair on her chin. I knew what the mom was thinking, and there were no other physical findings or red flags in the history that indicated testing was warranted. In addition, the tests she listed were not appropriate for the condition she thought her daughter had. The mom wasn't even present at the visit, so I couldn't discuss her concerns with her.
I agree 100% with Susie. Be your own advocate but don't walk in with a diagnosis and a list of tests that you think you need. Don't demand testing. A lot of testing is determined based on good history taking and findings on the medical exam. As a nurse practitioner, I cannot tell you how frustrating it is when parents/patients walk in with an agenda and won't listen to what I have to say. They've "done the research" and discount my medical exam. We don't treat test results, we treat the patient. There is a lot of great info we can get from a physical exam and history.
Patients have the right to disagree with their medical providers and seek a second opinion. But they also need to be respectful and partner with their providers to get the medical care they want and deserve.
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RunToTheFinish
Thank you so much for taking the time to chime in Wendy!! I think you are so right with the abundance of information we can convince ourselves something is worse than it is. I'm truly coming from the perspective of not being afraid to ask for more when your gut is telling you it's not just that you need a nap or a week off running.
Great points!!!
Emily @ My Healthyish Life
Such important points, Amanda. As someone who is (thankfully) on the upswing after months of health issues, I can testify that being your own advocate and seeking alternative medicine can be very beneficial options. I’m grateful to have found a great holistic doctor who helped me with my treatment. I LOVE her and have had such a great experience.
Ellen
Yes, yes, yes. Being your own advocate is so important. I've grown up in and out of doctor's offices and I have a rare chronic illness that's pretty under-studied, so I I have to know enough about my body and my condition to know what's normal and what's not and to speak up for yourself. Right now, there's a lot of not-so-normal and I'm finally seeking some holistic help. I have spent a lot of time not feeling my best, and I'm totally ready for that to change!
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Polyglot Jot
This happened to me with gluten! So many years of being sick and fatigued with tons of digestive issues and no doctor listening. Finally I found a good dr for me that encouraged me to experiment with my diet and once i cut out gluten, all of my symptoms went away.
I wish i had stood up for myself long before this so I didnt have to feel so sick for so long!
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Linda
Thank you for this. I'm actually reading this from the waiting room at the doctors office. I'm tired of always feeling not good, no matter what I eat or do. I'm ready for some answers and won't leave here leave until they have like 10 vials of blood to test!
I may also look to a naturopath if I don't find some answers here.
Emily
This is SO true. I'm often a little too lazy about figuring out the problem, but this gave me some motivation!
Amanda @ Running with Spoons
I may be a little biased, but I'm a huge proponent of turning to alternative medicine if you can't get answers the traditional way. It may be slightly more expensive and "out there," but in most cases, you're also getting someone who has more time to really go into your history and come up with a personalized plan that's tailored to what you need. And then constantly tweak it to get you answers and results. It's really unfortunate that doctors are so overworked and don't have that much time to spend with their patients. You're totally right about needing to take charge and really be your own advocate.
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Jodi Tivey
Oh my goodness. You know I can relate!! Took me a long time to admit that I know more about my body and how I feel than the doc. No, I don't know the medical part, but I do know when I feel off. Taking control of my health and being more proactive and upfront with my doc and alternative medicine contacts has helped immensely!! Thanks for this post! So many need to read this!
Jill @ RunEatSnap
I am so tired of the "busy" mentality! Everyone is soooo busy! Like that's such a status symbol. Drives me crazy!
Mile 22
Your opinion is so good. Nowadays every doctors are overworked. They don’t give enough time to their patients and they don’t want to hear full information from patients . You have said that we are the one person which fight for ourselves. This is a great true. Thanks for your advice. I hope you will also give us like this information in next time.
fitgirlandherdog
Such an important message. We need to be our best advocates and know in our hearts when something is off. Thanks for the encouragement to own it!
thisrunnersrecipes
I read an article in the Atlantic probably about a year ago now how doctors tend to think women exaggerate their pain and downplay it (the article was written by a man telling his wife's story and based on his observations of the doctor visits). It's sad but it happens – especially in my experience when it comes to anything with periods or hormones, because so many just want to right it off as cramps or hysteria still. It took years before my doctor realized that I may have endometriosis – she put me on the pill, then on anti-depressants for PMDD (which I didn't stay on for long), and then finally realized the reason I was having such painful periods even on the pill was possibly because of endo…which my mom also had.
I agree with Susie at the top to not diagnosis oneself off of Dr Google, but you are very right that we have to advocate for ourselves and push for answers rather than just taking whatever prescription is handed to us and leaving. Keep asking the questions and don't settle if you know if your gut it isn't right!
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Sarah
I cannot tell you how many times I went to the doctor feeling off and they just say stress, or try telling me I eat too healthy, or a reason that makes no sense. Not to mention now with so many more people paying more of their medical costs it is very frustrating! Doctors are getting more overbooked, they seem to also be (at least at my clinic) not retaining the same doctors. I had the same doctor for over 15 years. In the last 5-6 years it seems that every time I go to the doctor the one I saw before is gone. The ones I do know that are still there don’t take new patience so this leads to having to start all over or having doctors that know nothing or don’t care about looking at your past information. I personally don’t have much faith in the medical system anymore. Last year at the ER they said they thought I had a mini stroke but checked everything and nothing made sense from what they checked but wanted a scan and something done and to see my doc in the am. Well my doc felt that nothing else was needed and I was fine and it may have been a blood sugar issue or other blood issue when those numbers were fine. I’m really thinking about alternative medicine but just not sure where to start. Maybe I just need to be tougher when I go into the doctor and demand answers… tried that years and years ago and was diagnosed with Celiac only to find out 5 years later I didn’t have it but an intolerance and later thought maybe that was my fault for pushing so hard for answers after so many visits. Cutting the gluten did help obviously but wasn’t the real root of the problem.
Thank you for the helpful info and reminding me I’m not apl
Sara Cooper
It's really difficult to talk with a doctor frankly now-a-days. It seems they are not even hearing what am I talking about and start writing prescriptions. Most of them are too busy or over scheduled. Sometime I need to wait for one doctor, who knew my previous health history, for months.
Your article is a great help. Now I am thinking that my be I wasn't doing things right. Need to be more cautious and bold next time. Thanks.